Harmony, not balance
Work, homeschooling, laundry, meals, relationships, self-care, SLEEP...and those are just the basics, right? We think that if we can just find a better balance we can keep up with it all. Well, that’s just not true. We have to drop the perfectionistic idea of ever achieving balance. Balance implies equal importance and attention to everything at the same time - but that’s just not realistic. Think of a scale equally balanced - nothing is really happening! Yet we add more stress striving for that elusive goal.
A dynamic intentional life embraces harmony.
Imagine a soulful jazz band or even an orchestra. Musicians aren’t playing their parts all at the same time or even concerned that each part is ‘equal’. Sometimes the drums lead, sometimes the strings...there are even solos to highlight specific instruments! And I believe we can value the unique timing and layering of life’s tugs and pulls by being present and truly listening to what is needed in each moment, day, or season. We pile on endless ‘shoulds’ and let in so many distractions it’s no wonder why it feels nearly impossible to slow down, tune in, and trust what the current season is actually calling for. Creating a system to regularly evaluate your commitments and habits can help simplify the process and keep your true priorities on top. The alternative is being okay with life sounding like a toddler banging on the piano ;) Might be fun and tolerable for a minute, but it’s pretty darn painful long term.
Life doesn’t have to be so noisy.
Life doesn’t have to be so noisy, really. Essentialism and Atomic Habits are two books that have helped me see the importance of finding clarity and building better habits in order to focus on what’s truly important. Just like musicians, we have to know what the goal is, who we’re playing with, and work hard to master the basics before we can improvise and harmonize with ease. It’s not always easy or sexy, but creating a solid foundation that works for YOUR life is so worth the confidence and flow that can result. I used to think the added structure would limit freedom or would require printed schedules and spreadsheets, but it doesn’t have to be super mechanical - I promise! The idea is to compose music you can dance to joyfully. When we don’t know where we’re headed we end up second-guessing every other step, tripping over the chaos, and wasting our precious time.
Decision fatigue is real and incredibly draining. Train yourself to decide ONCE. You can always re-evaluate, but getting your intentions down on paper and mapping out some simple dance steps can lighten our cognitive load in a big way. And more brain space, my friend, results in MORE freedom and flexibility. And I know we’d do anything to eliminate the dreaded question “what’s for dinner” - am I right!?
I’ve found that focusing on harmony vs balance also helps from getting burned out. Priorities stay in check, you cultivate the awareness needed to lean into whatever is most important at the moment, you’re able to make more sustainable choices, and you can create the white space necessary to fill your cup!
No one wants to feel scattered and exhausted all the time.
Three R’s to help embrace harmony:
Rhythms
What feels natural? What does your family look forward to, already enjoy, or maybe need to evaluate and fine-tune?
• Daily (block scheduling, daily wins check-in)
• Weekly (family meetings, dates)
• Monthly (goals, plans)
• Seasonally (traditions, trips, birthdays)
Routines
What serves you and reduces decision fatigue?
• Morning routine
• Weekly meal themes
• Cleaning routines
• Evening routine
Rest
How can you and your family integrate more reflection + connection and physical + mental downtime?
• Daily pauses (meditation, journaling, prayer, quiet time, reading, yoga, nature)
• Weekly or monthly time by yourself, with your spouse, or friends
• Screen-free days
As you begin composing your own ‘sheet music’ and dedicate time to practicing and establishing solid habits, you’ll increase the amount of flow and ease in your life. With that foundation, you’ll be free to give energy and life to the nuances and nudges. Listening deeply will always allow you to tune in to what truly matters and move towards what needs to be highlighted or adjusted. Trust that the other sections are still valuable parts of the whole, but can often wait for their turn. It may even be the next solo.
